Tuesday, January 18, 2022

Welcome to Holland

 Today I want to introduce you to a thought provoking article written by Emily Perl Kingsley - about her experience about parenting a child with a disability. I came across this in the book - "May be you should talk with someone" by Lori Gottileb

I'm reproducing it in full here - 

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting. After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland." "Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy." But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts. But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Source: https://www.dsasc.ca/uploads/8/5/3/9/8539131/welcome_to_holland.pdf 

It is not just about parenting a child with disability. It is an apt metaphor for any kind of dream cut short. It was really beautiful and impactful. Whatever your life situation, if you come across a situation where you cannot achieve something you always wanted, then this gives you a new perspective. Look around and see how to have whale of a time in Holland! 

 

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