~Kindness~

~Kindness~, originally uploaded by Jt's JuNk.

I discovered one interesting fact about myself. That I am arrogant - not very much but a little - but not very little, not to hurt anyone. It hit me when I read the story told by the founder of Amazon.com, Jeff Bezos. It goes like this

On a long road trip with his beloved grandparents, a 10-year-old Bezos decided to impress his grandmother with his talents for calculations, informing her that her intensive cigarette smoking would take nine years off her life. When instead of praising his mathematical prowess, she wept, his grandfather took him aside and gave him one of the great lessons of his life.

"My grandfather looked at me, and after a bit of silence he gently and calmly said, 'Jeff, one day you'll understand that it's harder to be kind than clever,'" Bezos said. Cleverness is a gift, Bezos told the graduates, and kindness is a choice. 

So how many times have we done that? Are you using your kindness to help people or are you making them feel bad by showing it off in the wrong moment? I think unknowingly, I have done such thing -It feels very natural to do when it seems like commonsense to you. But we should remember to -
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle. - Plato.
It is easy to be right or clever, but it is difficult to be kind. But life will be a little more frictionless, if we are kinder. If only we are a little sensitive, the world looks and becomes more loving and tender.

I - My first story...

I tried to sleep but couldn't. I close my eyes and see her beaming smiles. I tossed around the bed and I hear the rhythmic sound of her anklets . I open my eyes, I looked into the room which was pitch dark. Feeling restless, I thought of calling her. Seeing the time, I decided not to... Ohh..what has my life become..?

I was never like this, I am what as you people call 'Ramudu Manchi Baludu'. I used to do my work followed the maxim, "Early to bed, Early to rise". My mind fed with scientists and inventions, never couldn't why people suddenly started reacted differently when smitten with love. Till I met this girl. I was completely blown away.She was my colleague at work. First it started with going to coffee together. From here, I started going to coffee to be together with her. We became good friend and I have having lovely time.

Till one day when

She came and casually announced "My parents are searching for matches".

I said "Ohhh..really thats great news."

She just looked into my face once but again started smiling and then we talked normally.

But now I am sleepless, what to do.. Did she inform me that because she also liked me? or just like that? What if I let her know that I like her? Will she accept or does she treat me just like a friend? Or will she just shout on me saying - " How could you ever think like that?"

Even if she accepted how about making our families accept? Will she accept to marriage without parents accepting? Or will I marry her without the acceptance of my parents?? Is it possible.. If it is not possible, why should this happen at all?? Why Why Why? Ohhh..life is worth living only with her.. otherwise its just dull .... With her every raindrop feels special, but without her, they just irritate me.. Should I tell or what if she will not accept?? Ohh..nooo....what to do..?????

My thoughts went like this and I don't remember when I slept... I was awaken by the sun shining on me and waking me out of my dreams to the harsh real world and again my thoughts continued.

Suddenly, I got a call from a long last friend that he was coming to my city and would like to meet me..I recieved him and he observed that I have a problem. I emptied myself out.....

He just smiled and said " Why do you complicate your life? Can you be happy without her? If not, why do you want to attempt doing that? "

I felt a little better, but my fears won't leave me alone.

For which he replied " Don't you feel that she enjoys your company? Didn't you see that chemistry between you? And do you want to regret this for your whole life? If not, get some guts and get going. If you just live in your brain and never live in the real world, then you will have to do it your whole.. Damn it, go get a life." He wished me best and left me.

Again, I was alone with my thoughts. Ohh..why could I not just tell her. Why don't I have the confidence to just plainly speak my feelings? But this negative talk will never help me. Thinking thus, I finally got the confidence and decided to take the plunge.

I went to her, trying to get a chance to empty my heart to her. As I tried to tell her, I got very excited. My pulse shot up and the hair on my hands rose. Ohh man, how terrifying it is... But but .... I gathered enough courage to look straight into her eyes and tell those three magical words.... I LOVE YOU... " And then she didn't reply... it felt like ages before she could speak and I skipped a heart beat.... She looked straight into my face and said - "You Einstein, I was afraid that you will never tell that." and embraced me in a tight hug...

PS: This is my first attempt at writing a story. And this story is a tribute to the director, Gautam Vasudev Menon, for the amazing way he shows love onscreen. Thanks Gautam. I have watched his Ye Maya Chesave yesterday and was blown by it and hence you just read the story now. His previous movie "Surya S/O Krishnan", "Gharshana", "Raghavan" all have excellent love stories. Hope you make many many such movies...

Ninnu Choosi Vennele anukunna... Lovely Lyrics

The lyrics of Happy Days songs are excellent...



Songs could be listened easily but there are some bit songs which we have to listen only in the movie... I always loved them and hum them...



First one plays when Chandu sees Madhu in a half-saree...



"ninna choosi vennele anukunna
monna kooda ninnala kalaganna
adigetu padutunna
tanavaipelutunna
kunukaina raani samayaana
kanu mooste chalu tamarena
pena vesukunna pranayamuna yamunaa teerana"



Second one is when he tries to patch up with Madhu but he is unsuccessful



"ningi loni taraga neevunna
nelakande daarule choostunna
eduruga nenunnna
eragavu kaastaina
oka manasu tapana choosaina
odi cheravela o lalana
alajadulu bayatapadutunna avuna kaadanna..


kariga oka theepi kalaga..migila eenadu shilaga..
musirey nee oohalanni.. saakshalugaa.. "





What a lovely feel... :)



Thanks to Kaburloi Kaburlu for the lyrics

Whats a good life?

Is it a life spent in service of others?

Is it a life spent in achieving something against all odds?

Is it a life spent dutifully taking care of your family?

Is it a life spent sacrificing for the greater good?

Is it a life spent spent orderly?

Ohhh..no its not...

Isnt there something missing?

Good life is a life spent being happy,

Lucky is he who can do the above things

without losing his happiness....

Skid Row - I remember you lyrics

Just read the lyrics of this song and loved it.. So touching.. Hope you like them too.. :)



Woke up to the sound of pouring rain
The wind would whisper and Id think of you
And all the tears you cried, that called my name
And when you needed me I came through

I paint a picture of the days gone by
When love went blind and you would make me see
Id stare a lifetime into your eyes
So that I knew you were there for me
Time after time you were there for me

Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - I remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
Id wanna hear you say - I remember you

We spend the summer with the top rolled down
Wished ever after would be like this
You said I love you babe, without a sound
I said Id give my life for just one kiss
Id live for your smile and die for your kiss

Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - I remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
Id wanna hear you say - I remember you

Weve had our share of hard times
But thats the price we paid
And through it all we kept the promise that we made
I swear youll never be lonely

Woke up to the sound of pouring rain
Washed away a dream of you
But nothing else could ever take you away
cause youll always be my dream come true
Oh my darling, I love you

Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - I remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
Id wanna hear you say - I remember you

Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - I remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
Id wanna hear you say - I remember you

Some Random Reflections about 'Counting Your Blessings'

Image via Wikipedia

Just read a post 'Counting My Blessings' at Vyshu's blog. Ofcourse it made me about things I like and feel blessed about. But it made me think of something else too...

In your life you have had some people who like you but somehow you have not had that much liking for them as much as they have... and there are some people whom you like very much but it feels as if there is not much reciprocation... And sometimes it feels as if I have to somehow like those people who like me but how much ever I try I find that an unsatisfying pursuit. They just don't seem to sustain my interest. I am thinking hard if it is because of a prejudice on my part? Or is it because of my inability to see them right? Do you feel blessed for such love existing in your life?

After much thought on this, I came to the conclusion that it might be possible that we might look interesting to some people whom we may not find interesting enough and we might find some other people interesting to us to whom we might not seem much interesting. It is quite natural for thing like this to happen and am just thinking of the possibility where each person find the other interesting. That might just spark a super spiral of emotional growth , happiness, bliss and purpose.

Is it a romantic thought or not I don't know. Is it the right thing or not I will not know but my heart revels in the fact that something like this is possible...There is a longing which never disappears... Have you ever felt like this ever?

Love Aaj Kal - A love story of our times

I have just watched Love Aaj Kal and just cant wait till tomorrow morning to tell you how great a movie it is. Generally I prefer telling the plot of the stories but I dont want to do it for this. Just watch it on the screen. It is the story of our times where there is a confusion between career and love, the seperations, the break-ups, long distance relationships, the being far yet being very near. The story of self-discovery of what is more important in life, the fun and despair of modern times, the innocence and love, the missing and the pain everything packed in a two hour movie. I just loved it. Go Watch It.

Still not convinced.. then this is for you..

What is important? Do you want to continue a relationship even if you dont feel fulfilled? Do you just allow any relationship to fade only to come back after you understand what you missed? What if it is unrecoverable? What if it is not possible? What price are you paying to succeed in your career? What is really important. All these questions are explored in the movie and director succeeds in showing how the feeling of being in love doesnt change through the ages... Imtiaz Ali, the director to watch for..

What is love

hi Readers,

I want to know your opinion on what love means to you?

I want to clarify my objective. I want the answer to question regarding the love between a man and a woman... When they say they are in love what does it mean exactly?

Update: One of the readers, Gaargi commented below the following on love

Love is the word used to label the sexual excitement of the young, the habituation of the middle-aged, and the mutual dependence of the old.
~John Ciardi

Most men and women, given suitable conditions, will feel passionate love at some period of their lives. For the inexperienced, however, it is very difficult to distinguish passionate love from mere sex hunger; especially is this the case with well-brought-up girls, who have been taught that they could not possibly like to kiss a man unless they loved him. If a girl is expected to be a virgin when she marries, it will very often happen that she is trapped by a transient and trivial sex attraction, which a woman with sexual experience could easily distinguish from love. This has undoubtedly been a frequent cause of unhappy marriages. ~Bertrand Russel in Marriage and Morals

Though I feel they are really right, it doesnt decrease the importance of love even a little bit...

If we really think about it, life is meaningless, yes we are born, somehow we produce some offspring and then we leave it. This is life in a nutshell. How bad it looks..? So it all boils down to the point of where anyone finds meaning in? Some people may find it in their work, only to realize that it was not worth it after some time, some people in keeping their parents happy until they realize that it doesnt automatically guarantee you happiness...

But I think if two people are in love, then it gives them a lot of meaning which can be rightly characterized as

Love is the word used to label the sexual excitement of the young, the habituation of the middle-aged, and the mutual dependence of the old. as said by John Ciardi.. So that is love - It is something in which you find a meaning to your life, when everything else seems nothing, when suddenly life seems to seem so worthy...

Update 2: We love just because we love, nothing else... not because their tastes are matching with ours, not because she/he is beautiful or not because of any particular reason.. you love because you love..

Great realizations...& a touching story

I loved the book - Seven Habits of Highly Effective people, it is a great book... It brought about a sea change in me... 

So when I saw the book 'Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families' I wanted to read it to understand what insights Steve has shared in it. 

Apart from things I already know, I liked this lines

The desire to love itself is not love... Love is an act of will - namely an intention and an action. Will also implies choice.. We do not have to love.. We choose to love. No matter how much we may think we are loving if we are in fact not loving, it is because we have chosen to love and therefore do not love despite our best intentions. On the other hand, whenever we do actually exert ourselves in the cause of spiritual growth, it is because we have chosen to do so. The choice to love has been made. 

I will write a detailed review of it somewhere, I just want to share a story which really struck a chord with me... 

I came home from work the other day, and my three and a half year old Brenton met me at the door. He said "Dad, I am a hardworking man!"

I later found out that while my wife had been downstairs, Brenton had emptied a one-and-a-half gallon jug of water from the fridge, most of it on the floor. My wife's initial reaction had been to yell at him and spank him. But instead she stopped herself and said patiently, "Brenton, what are you trying to do?"

"I was trying to be a helping man mom," he replied proudly.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I washed the dishes for you." 

Sure enough, there on the kitchen table were all the dishes he had washed with the water from the water jug. 

"Well, honey whey did you use the water from the fridge?"

"I couldn't reach the water from the sink."

"Oh!" she said. Then she looked around. "Well what do you think you could do next time that would make less of a mess?" 

He thought about it for a minute. Then his face lit up. " I could do it in the bathroom!" he exclaimed

"The dishes might break in the bathroom," she replied. "But how about this? what if you came and got me and I helped you move a chair in front of the kitchen sink so that you could do the work there?"

"Good Idea!" he exclaimed happily.

"Now what shall we do with this mess?" she asked.

"Well" he said thoughtfully, "we could use a lot of paper towels!" So she gave him a lot of paper towels and she went and got the mop. 

As she was telling what had happened, I realized how important it was that my wife had been able to catch herself between stimus and response. She made a proactive choice. And she was able to do it because she thought about the end in mind. The important thing here is not the clean floor. It's raising the boy. 

It took her about ten minutes to clean up the mess. If she had been reactive, it also would have taken her ten minutes, but the difference would have been that Brenton would have met me at the door and said, "Daddy, I am a bad boy!"

Previous posts on Seven habits here: 1

Back From Vacation...

Last week I took a one week vacation leave and went home. This was my first one week vacation after 3 years... It felt so good yet so different.. The weather of spring was very good and I had nostalgic memories of my school days when spring meant preparation for the exams. Ate, rested, relaxed and read to heart's content... 

Watched the oscar awards presentation and one quote by Rahman struck a chord with me - "All along my life, I got opportunities to choose between love and hate. I always chose love and it brought me here." I am also of the belief that at every turn we do get options to choose between them and what we choose makes all the difference. 

Thought of reading Silas Marner, but couldnt read beyond first few chapters. On the other side read few novels from telugu called 'Maa manchi Mastaru' which is about how a dedicated principal can change the hearts of the students as well as others in the neighbourhood. Next I read a novel called 'Chikatlo Chirudeepam' which is about how in this fast paced lives of two working parents, children are not getting the love they deserve and how it is affecting their lives. The author has captured all this in a very beautiful story about how such an ignored child becomes a drug addict and fortunately falls in the hands of a loving old man and a young girl who give him enough love for him to become normal and shine in the world. 

I am back in Hyderabad and I should get prepare my environment to eating healthier and staying healthier.