The role of organized religion

In 2009 when I was thinking a lot about religion and our place in the world, I wrote these

Following a religion gives us hope, faith and confidence about problems which we cannot solve ourselves...and a sense of humility which is very necessary in this random world.It also is used to give some sort of stability, checks and balances in the society so that it will not degrade..

And 

All these things (castes and rules)  make me feel these things were only created for manipulation and power-grabbing. 

After that I argued that I didn't need someone else to set the rules and that we ourselves can make our own rules for life. 

I found a different perspective regarding organized religion in Sebastian's blog. 

because people attribute things like discrimination or war to religion, but I think that’s mistaken. We naturally draw lines as humans, and support the people on our side of the line. Sure, religious groups often promote themselves at the expense of other groups. But so do trade organizations, national organizations, race-based organizations, and so on, and so on. Humans naturally divide themselves into groups, support people in their group, and oppose people outside of it.
So I’d say, even the worst implementations of religion tend to get 80% of things correct. They all pretty much say don’t steal, don’t kill, do charitable and good deeds, be hospitable, purify and master yourself, serve and do good works…
If you belong to an organized religion, you know how people are generally expected to act, you know it’s pretty good, and you know everyone’s consistent about it. You have some people that you know are going to back you up if times get tough, and you’ve got common ground to connect on and work together, socialize together, and build families together.
Y’know, a hardcore athiest that focuses on the mystical side of religion and says it’s ridiculous is kind of missing the point. Organized religion greatly simplifies people’s lives by giving them a reasonably good belief structure and standardizing a large group of people’s customs, culture, and expected conduct. It makes life easier and allows for strong connections and alliances and agreements.

 So he says, religion has made life easier by giving us a culture and standard beliefs. This helps in creating and maintaining relations and being together amicably. Though I argue that if we are all intelligent, we can think about and form our own beliefs and understand that our well-being lies in live and let living, I will not.  Because, 

guy that can research, strive, examine, think, brainstorm, and scratch and claw your way towards having a uniquely developed, cohesive, powerful set of ethics.
Most people can’t, and don’t want to do that. It’s a lot of work, and it leads to a lot of doubt and confusion and then no one understands you. Having your own ethics is lonely. Very lonely.

Hence religions have spread and established with the help of the charisma of the people spreading them. But I think his perspective is very useful to understand religions influence in the world. His blog is very good and he writes really interesting stuff. You can read it here

Thoughts on seeing a person getting fired..

 Our QA person comes to office after a ten day vacation to a popular destination. He showed us the photos of his vacation. I and my colleague went through all the pics which were in hundreds. He was beaming showing us the pics saying that he was planning this vacation from a long time. I was very happy for him.

Little did we know that all that change on Monday. On monday he came to office as usual. Our CTO also came to office. He is a very busy person so he travels quite a lot. Generally our QA person comes to lunch with us. On Monday, we forget to call him when we went to lunch. When we were having lunch, my colleague Murali reminded me we forgot to invite him. I went inside after lunch and when i saw him I put a sorry face showing the expression that I forgot to call him for lunch. We opened our mailboxes and we were in for a shock. Our CTO sent a mail.  "We thank XX for his services to the company. He will no longer be part of our team effective immediately" (Emphasis mine). Yes thats it, by the time we saw the mail, we couldn't see that person. I called him and he said he was down stairs smoking. He said that it happened very casually. They said that his job was being performed from some other location and he would not be needed. He will be given one more pay check for 15 days (because he has completed two years, otherwise he will be given just one week pay) and then from there he is all by himself. The company has filed his visa, green card, so I think the person was pretty much committed to this company.

I was shell shocked with this incident. I have heard numerous times that Americans have a hire and fire policy. But I have never seen it in action so closely. The fact that it is done without any prior intimation and they way they just said - effective immediately- and closing all access (Laptop was taken) made me feel very bad. I for once felt very lucky that we were just contractors from a different company and so even if we were fired, we will be sent back to India. I really applaud my company for retaining everyone during the downturn even when it was difficult. I don't say that they have to keep every employee even if they don't have any work or however bad they are but I feel they should be given proper intimation as soon as the manager knows and not being so surgical (effective immediately) would be lot better.

This also shows the perils of coming on a H1 visa to the land of opportunities. Luckily our QA person's wife also works. So he can get by with her salary atleast. Imagine a person coming on H1 and losing his job. Even if it take just one month to get a new job, just imagine the stress he would be in till he gets a job. If intimated before, it goes a long way in making the transition easier and the employee is more likely to have a favorable view of the comapny. It is in the best interest of the employee as well as the employer for  the employer has to be more humane during this time.

Reminded of lot of things after this - Of the many things  the famous quote of Narayana Murthy of Infosys - "Love your job but not your company"  - well said by the man of experience. I am also reminded of what rude shocks you get when you are caught off guard by the company from the movie Up in the air. To know what I mean watch the video below

~Kindness~

~Kindness~, originally uploaded by Jt's JuNk.

I discovered one interesting fact about myself. That I am arrogant - not very much but a little - but not very little, not to hurt anyone. It hit me when I read the story told by the founder of Amazon.com, Jeff Bezos. It goes like this

On a long road trip with his beloved grandparents, a 10-year-old Bezos decided to impress his grandmother with his talents for calculations, informing her that her intensive cigarette smoking would take nine years off her life. When instead of praising his mathematical prowess, she wept, his grandfather took him aside and gave him one of the great lessons of his life.

"My grandfather looked at me, and after a bit of silence he gently and calmly said, 'Jeff, one day you'll understand that it's harder to be kind than clever,'" Bezos said. Cleverness is a gift, Bezos told the graduates, and kindness is a choice. 

So how many times have we done that? Are you using your kindness to help people or are you making them feel bad by showing it off in the wrong moment? I think unknowingly, I have done such thing -It feels very natural to do when it seems like commonsense to you. But we should remember to -
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle. - Plato.
It is easy to be right or clever, but it is difficult to be kind. But life will be a little more frictionless, if we are kinder. If only we are a little sensitive, the world looks and becomes more loving and tender.

How I ended up taking up Engineering ? - Thanks to my maths teacher.!!!

I grew up in a very picturesque village called Devapur, in Adilabad District of Andhra Pradesh, India which is surrounded by hills on every side. During the reason season with clouds touching the peaks of the hills, it will be just amazing. Just around our colony, if we walk for some distance we will go in to the hills and the picture below is one of the entry into those forests on the hill. I and some friends of mine used to just around in the hills in the evenings of summers. 

One of the routes into the forests 

I love being in nature. We had a big vegetable garden behind our house. Every year before the start of rainy season, I would gather seeds of bottle gourd, ridge gourd, bitter gourd, beans,tindora, spinach etc and wait for the first rains to plant them. I used to have an amazing feeling seeing them germinate, grow. After some days we used to build supports for the creepers to grow and wait for them to bear fruits. Then I used to pluck them with pride after they grow sufficiently. To stop from cows or pigs from eating all these, I, my brother, my father and mother worked hard before the start of rainy season to build a fence around our house. To this day I remember the memories of those days. It used to be hard work and  we had a lemon tree in the backyard, sometimes we got pricked by the thorns but at the end of the day it felt so satisfactory. Also, we had a very big playground in our village and I used to enjoy a lot sitting on the grass in the big ground with wind blowing on my face. Everyone would have had memories of playing the ground, but I was very bad at games - that is another story though.  We had all sorts of fruit trees in our house. Guava, Pomegranate, custard-apple, mango, berries, banana trees around our house. I used to be very proud of our garden and I loved being in nature. When I learned of photosynthesis, plant propogation etc, i was naturally interested. Botany interested me. So I kind of decided that I would be mostly studying botany later. 

A view from my backyard

But all of this changed after seventh standard. We got one teacher named Shailaja, for mathematics.  I was a not up to the mark in mathematics. In the sixth standard, I didn't understand half of the syllabus especially geometry and got just 60% marks in the annual exams. So I was not that interested in mathematics. But Shailaja madam was very passionate about maths.More than what she taught, how she taught was very much instrumental in making me lose my fear of mathematics. She used to tell us about Shakuntala Devi. That year we had equations and in-equations in our syllabus. So she used to give us puzzles on solving equations which were very much fun to solve. She also told me to solve all the example problems in the text book. All these went a long way in increasing my interest in mathematics. We again had the same teacher again in our X standard. By this time, I was very much confident in my ability in mathematics.

One day, madam told us her own story of how she always wanted to be an engineer and told the story of Ramanujam and his mathematical prowess. We were floored at the story. She increased the profile of maths over other subjects and she romanticized engineering which in turn increased my interest in mathematics more 

And I ended up getting 99% in mathematics.!!! 

So now I was equally open to going mpc way or bipc way. After coming to know that medical education takes a lot of time, I finally ended up taking MPC and going on to become an engineer.  

So thank you Shailaja mam if I have successfully completed my engineering and working here in the US, it is because of you.. 

Of all my school teachers, my English teacher and Maths teacher have influenced my life very much. Though I couldn't know the importance then, I can appreciate them better now. I always wanted to thank them personally but due to various reasons I couldn't express that. So here are my thanks to them. My thanks to my English teacher is here.

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The Story of how my - 'Pride went before a fall'

I have written the story of my grammar and handwriting here. Now I will write about one more incident concerning my English teacher.

I was pretty good at academics in my class. My ma'm was aware of that. But she was aware of one thing I was not aware of. One day we were having a refresher of previous days class. I was asked a question. I was not able to answer. And I was standing there with head seeing the ground, unable to face her. And that was when I heard the line "Pride goes before a fall". I didn't understand what she was trying to say. What was I proud? No I never spoke condescendingly of anyone. I always gave everyone respect. So I ignored it. This was in II standard.

Then in my V standard, one day I didn't do my homework. And again she made me stand with a head looking into the ground. My class teacher came into the room to make some announcement. I felt very bad standing like that in front of my class teacher and suddenly I started crying. Then I heard the dreaded words again - "Pride goes before a fall"

After that I again had the same analysis done and concluded that I was not to take it seriously.

And the final time I heard it the last time was in my X standard, one day when she was questioning everyone and most of the class was standing for not being able to answer the question. I was able to answer the question asked to me and I was sitting. I looked at one of my friend Biswajit and started smiling. My expression was one of concern - like I am sorry that you are not able to answer the question. But I couldn't say the words - I just smiled at him. He too smiled back. My teacher watched him and started scolding him. He told that I was laughing and she started scolding me. I tried to explain that I was just concerned about him. But she wouldn't have any of that. She continued scolding me and I started crying. And then she let out the dreaded sentence - "Pride goes before a fall".

And I was reminded of all those events where I was being chastised with this line used on me and I always that I was unfairly being scolded all these times. But this time I couldn't ignore it. But I couldn't understand it.


Ten years have passed since and now I feel I understand it. What she was trying to tell me was - not to get so caught up in the fact that you study well so much that you cannot handle failure with grace. You would do well to remember your roots. 

It is very easy to get all wrapped up and identifying ourselves with the work we are doing, company we are in etc. But we should never forget the fact that everything is ephemeral in the world and hence we should live with humility. 

Point taken ma'm.

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To Each his own and other musings...!!!

 Role of government:   Should the government bail out the banks? So should we become a company too big to fail? While not bailing the banks out would have been catastrophic, what is the limit? Sometimes, it looks like a world described in Atlas Shrugged is good, but is it really true? Would you really ignore a dying friend who couldn't fend for himself? What about children etc ?  It looks like completely selfish pursuit as described in Atlas Shrugged cannot be possible. Somewhere government should enter? Where is it and what are its limits? There is no right answer to this. I think there is no stable defined role for the government. It just has to cater to the existing demands of the people in the best way it sees. Hence, by design, it cannot satisfy everyone. To each his own. One person may see it as right and one may see it as wrong and the result can only be seen a long time later and sometimes never. Seeing this, I am getting more and more confidence on the fact that there is no one truth. To each his own.

In the Dream World: I have had many many ideas but very very few have seen the light of the day. That is enough proof that I am living more in the brain and less in the real world. May be I am becoming a philosopher. i.e not only giving out unproven theories but trying to live them. Not that it is wrong but I feel that I should live more in this world. The ideas are not bad but my mistake lies in trying to do them all alone. Slowly but surely I am realizing that we need good company to live in this world to lift us when we are down and for being lifted when they are down, to support each other and to push each other when other slacks. I had such good company in India in Sandy, but in the US with work taking most of the time and remaining time being spent on cooking and cleaning, there is very little time. But I think that should not be an excuse to not do anything.I have always kept to myself and lived an introvert. I have to connect more and live more in this world if I wish to realize most of my dreams.

No single madness aka passion: I am not sure if this is a problem. I have lot of interests good governance, education with values, good web sites, blogs, green energy, music and movies. Any thing in these fields I devour it. While reading each of it, I learn something new, I get new actionable ideas and feel inspired but with reading so much in so little time, at the end of the day I am not able to remember anything and it looks as if I haven't read anything at all. And it looks as if I am wasting the time. Though in reality, I am enjoying the time, I am feeling guilty of not utilizing the time well. Why this paradox? Though I am hopeful that my knowledge will one day come helpful, I am afraid of the fact that I might keep feeling guilty till that day comes.. !!! Sometimes, I feel if only I had only one madness or passion, I might have excelled in it and would have spared you of this long broody posts :)

చిరుజల్లు ఆశల హరివిల్లు - showers of hope

ఒక రెండు వారల క్రింద ఇక్కడ అంటే అమెరికా లో పాల  సముద్రం లా అందమైన మంచు పొర కప్పుకొని వుంది . . . నా బ్లాగ్ లో ఆ ఫోటోలు చూసే వుంటారు.. రెండే రెండు వారాల్లో ఇక్కడి పరిస్థితి   అంతా మారిపోయింది... మంచు లో ఆకులు అన్ని రాలిపోయి మోడుబారిపోయిన  చెట్లు ఇప్పుడు పచ్చని  చిగుర్లు తోడుగుతున్నాయి... నిర్జీవంగా మాడిపోయిన చేట్లోంచి ఎక్కడినుంచో ప్రాణం తన్నుకొని చిగుర్లలా వస్తున్నాయి ... ఈ రోజు ఉదయం వాతావరణం ఎంత ఆహ్లాదకరంగా వుందో ఈ ఫోటోలు చుడండి... అసలు సినిమాల్లో పుస్తకాల్లో, లేదా ఏ ఊటీ లో నో షిమ్లా లో నో  చూసి వుంటారు... అసలు ఏదో తెలియని ఆనందం కలిగింది నాకు వాటిని చూడగానే... అసలు నా మనసు తనువూ పులకరించి పోయాయి.... ఆఫీసు లో పని చేస్తూ చేస్తూ మాటి  మాటికి విరామం తీసుకొని బయటకు వచ్చి ఆ అందమైన సరస్సు, అందులో ఈదుతున్న బాతుల్లాంటి పక్షులు ... చిగుర్లకు చివర్లలోని చినుకులు ... ఊడల లా వేలాడుతున్న లతలు చూస్తే  ...ఆహ... స్వర్గం లా అనిపించింది.... ఎంతో సంతోషం కలిగింది .....నేను ఇక్కడకు వచ్చిన దానికి ఫలితం దక్కినట్టు గా అనిపించింది...
చిన్న చిన్న విషయాలైన ఎంత ఆనందాన్ని కలిగిస్తాయి ... జీవితానికి పాఠాలు కూడా నేర్పిస్తాయి .. శీతాకాలం లో మోడైపోయిన  చెట్లు మల్లి ఎలా చిగురించాయో... జీవితంలో కూడా కష్టాల తరువాత సుఖాలు ఉంటాయి అని చెప్పకనే చెపుతున్నాయి..

సిరివెన్నల సీతారామాశాస్త్రి  గారి 'ఈ గాలి ఈ వేలా సెలయెరూ' పాట నా మొబైల్ ఫోన్ లో వింటూ విహరిస్తూ ఈ ఫోటోలు తీసాను... ఆహా... ప్రకృతి కంత ఎంత అందం ముందు ఎంత అందమైన దిగదుడుపే అనిపించింది..

మబ్బులతో నిండిన ఆకాశం ఎన్ని చిలిపి ఆశలు కలిగిస్తుందో
See the sky covered with clouds.. how romantic..  

అసలు వేలాడుతున్న ఈ వృక్షాన్ని చుడండి...
See this tree..which has these lovely hanging leaves...

ఈ సెలయేటిని చూడండి...ఎంత తృప్తి గా శాంతంగా ఉందొ
See how peaceful the lake is... 

ఇలాంటి చల్లని వాతావరణం లో ఒక లాంగ్ డ్రైవ్ ... ప్రేయసి తో ..
Imagine a long drive in this weather with your loved one..

వర్షపు ముత్యాలు... ఆహా
Pearls of raindrops...Wow

అలా ఆఫీసు కి వెళ్లి వచ్చా... మల్లి రాత్రి ఫోన్ లో నా ప్రియురాలితో  తో మాట్లాడుతున్నప్పుడు అలా చెట్లలో విహరిస్తున్న.. చల్లగా మలయ మరుతలు వీస్తున్నాయి... ఆహా ఎంతటి అదృష్టమో అనుకుంటూ ఉన్న.. అంతలో చినుకులు రాలడం మొదల్లయ్యాయి ... నా ముఖాన్ని వర్షం వైపు తిప్పీ... ఆ చిరుజల్లు లో తడిసి పులకించిపోయా... అలా తడుస్తుంటే సంతోషం తన్నుకువస్తుంటే... అప్పుడే ఈ పోస్ట్ కి రూపం వచ్చింది... నన్ను నేను ఆపుకోలేక పోయా... నా నోటివెంట పాటలు  అలా వచ్చేసాయి ...

ఒహొహొహొహొహ్ఒహోఒ... పాదమెటు పోతున్న పయనమెందాకైన ... అడుగుతదబడుతున్న.. నేను లేనా... ఒంటరైనా ఓటమయినా.. ఒహ్హ్హ. మై ఫ్రెండ్... తడి కన్నులనే తుడిచిన నేస్తమా...    అని తనివి తీరా పడేసా...

నిన్న చూసి వెన్నెలే అనుకున్న.. మొన్న కూడా నిన్నలా కలగన్నా.. అడుగేటు పడుతున్నా .. తనవైపెలుతున్నా... కునుకయినా రాని సమయాన.. కనుమూస్తే చాలు తమరేనా.. పెనవేసుకున్న ప్రనయమున..యమునా తీరేనా...

................................................................................................

హ్యాపీ డేస్... హ్యాపీ డేస్...

వావ్... జీవితం ఎంత అందంగా ఉంది...!!!

The story of my Grammar and Handwriting

I was in my second standard when a teacher looking grim-faced walked into our classroom and started teaching us. She was called 'Madam' or just M'am and looked terrifying with chicken pox scars all over her face. She was very strict and disciplined and when she shouted on top of her voice, there used to be pin-drop silence in the class. Didn't bring the book - Kneel down, Didn't answer a question- Kneel down - kneel down, kneel down, kneel down those were the words that rang in the first few English classes.

I will recollect two incidents which were incidental in learning Grammar and improving my handwriting skills. Thanks to you M'am for without you I would never have learnt those.

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Mam: Why did you not do the homework?

Student: Yesterday, we went to temple means I didnt do my homework

Mam: What - You going to temple means you didn't do the homework??

This was the way we students who translated from our native tongue, Telugu, to English talked. All our conjunctions were 'means'. I just don't understand how we talked like that but that was how we talked until our Mam made us learn that a sentence consisted of a subject, and a predicate part. Next few classes were spent teaching nouns, verbs, prepositions and conjunctions but those classes were some of the most productive classes I ever attended.

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It was fourth standard and we were huddled outside the staff room of our school where our teacher was returning our copyrighting books where we had to write something in the whole page, which were said to improve our handwriting skills.

Before I got my book, lot of my friends got their books and had a 'Rewrite' written on the page. After each person who saw it started getting it, it looked like everyone got 'Rewrite' but luckily few people didn't get it and I was one among them.

The happiness that my handwriting was passable didn't stay long. She complete one lesson and gave question and answers for that lesson. I wrote them and gave them for correction. Though my writing was bad, I expected to be passed on as usual. When she came the next day to give the books, everybody got books except me. I was worried. Finally my chance came, she called me and told me that mine was the worst book she has seen. I got a big 'Rewrite' in my notebook when others got it in their copywriting books :( So I learnt the lesson to write neatly the hard way. So many rewrites followed before we were consistently given books without any remarks. And by that time, all students in our class could write reasonably well.

**************************************************************

Thank you Maureen ma'm, if I got selected in campus interview, if I am able to take onsite calls without any fear, give presentations without stuttering, and if I am able to write this blog without mistakes it is because of you. I'm eternally grateful to you mam.  

Charity in our Society

I and my wife were taking a long walk on the beautiful road from Gachibowli to Lingampally near the HCU campus. The road along the length of HCU campus is very beautiful with flower trees on both sides of the road. After passing that, she saw some slum dwellers and began telling me that people who make more money like movie stars to should do something to help the slum dwellers.

I tried to explain my philosophy to her which is as below.

It is a good thought that we have to give money to the poor, the story doesn't end there. Because by giving money without expecting anything in return, i.e by giving doles, we don't make it any better. Though it is government's responsibility to improve the standard of living of those people, it should be their own responsibility to come out of poverty.

And in India everyone says what does the government do when he himself could have done something. This it is someone's responsibility to do something. I feel a committed person with no or less funds can do better than a person with no committment but lot of money.

I think we would do well here to remember the famous quote of Gandhi - 'Be the Change You Want to see in the world.'

A case in point is Nirmaan an NGO whose history states that it started in usual discussions we youth have regarding development of India

Nirmaan, which was initially known as My INDIA is a thought emerged from the usual discussions on national issues that used to take place in the bhawans of BITS, Pilani. During one such usual discussion, few participants put up a thought that the idea of every citizen working towards a common goal of making India a developed Nation can alone solve the problems that the nation is facing. That powerful thought gave the birth for our organisation which is now called Nirmaan.

In fact every NGO would have started from this vision, it is not the funds that matter but committment to the idea that matters.

Ninnu Choosi Vennele anukunna... Lovely Lyrics

The lyrics of Happy Days songs are excellent...



Songs could be listened easily but there are some bit songs which we have to listen only in the movie... I always loved them and hum them...



First one plays when Chandu sees Madhu in a half-saree...



"ninna choosi vennele anukunna
monna kooda ninnala kalaganna
adigetu padutunna
tanavaipelutunna
kunukaina raani samayaana
kanu mooste chalu tamarena
pena vesukunna pranayamuna yamunaa teerana"



Second one is when he tries to patch up with Madhu but he is unsuccessful



"ningi loni taraga neevunna
nelakande daarule choostunna
eduruga nenunnna
eragavu kaastaina
oka manasu tapana choosaina
odi cheravela o lalana
alajadulu bayatapadutunna avuna kaadanna..


kariga oka theepi kalaga..migila eenadu shilaga..
musirey nee oohalanni.. saakshalugaa.. "





What a lovely feel... :)



Thanks to Kaburloi Kaburlu for the lyrics

Is it Never Too Late or Is it ?

Sometimes things go wrong in our life or there are times when we think back to a decision we made with a regret that we would have not made it.

And if you really want to make a change, it is really never too late. But the too late is dependent on the expectations you have created for others either knowingly or unknowingly. If you know the right thing to do, then this is what you can do if you feel it is too late.

1. Have a conversation with the parties involved: - Clearly explain why do you want to reverse a decision or a commitment. Explain to them how it helps them. Explain why do you think it is the best thing to do for you. Explain why this is the only thing you want to do.

2. Be committed to your decision:- You may want to change or revert a decision but even after telling all your points the other parties are convinced it is not the best of your decisions and keep pressurizing you to maintain the status quo. But you should not give up then but stick to your decision.

3. Make the outcome your decision: - Now after those deliberations and due to the new views which you have garnered, you take a decision which might be the one you might have originally wanted to revert back or vice versa, own up your decision and act accordingly. Understand that too much water has passed under the bridge and now do full justice to the new decision.

Remember as George Elliot says it, " It is never too late for you to be the person you always wanted to be "

Ciao until next time.. :)

A really useful related post: It is never too late

The Simplest Way To Live Life - And the Happiest

As you know, life as in 'how to live the best life' is my favorite topic to write on this blog.

And after writing these many posts about that, I feel that I have been getting more clarity on most important things...

To summarize,

What is life?

Life is essentially meaningless and it is we (I, and the society around me) try to assign meaning to it. Nothing is permanent and hence everything will be lost one day or the other. (Still some probing going on my mind here. - Like what about the legacy people leave after they go. Remember: If we are able to see further, it is because of standing on the shoulders of giants)

The Easiest Way to Live

So now the latest question is what is the easiest way to live - The easiest way to live is to do the things that naturally come to us. It might not hit you like a profound idea for the first time but think about it. What are the things from your childhood till now which made you happy. There are many assortment of things but you felt happy when you did things which you were drawn to. And doing things which we are interested already is very easy isn't it?

But the problem arises when we allow the society to assign meaning to our life and then trying to reach it in a way which is unnatural to you. It is then that life becomes difficult. So it is our responsibility to make sure we are not programmed by the society to do things which we are not natural to us.

Though it is not always possible to only do things which we love to do, we should make sure that one typical day contains activities which do excite us.

Sometimes to do things we like to do we may have to confront people, break existing rules and take some financial risks, but it is all worth it... Life is beautiful when things happen in the way we want to.

Overcoming Disappointments

People are very lucky if they had their way always in life and never had to feel disappointed, but generally we all might have faced some disappointment or the other. The best way to get over our disappointment is acceptance. Accepting the situation as it is is the best way to overcome disappointment. Acceptance doesn't mean we will cry for the rest of the time. No, what it means is to understand and accept what is the current situation. Then question ourselves what can we do about that now. If there is any action that we could take now which can change our situation - Just take it then and there. Else - just accept the situation. Accepting the current situation would help us make the best of the remaining life. Though, acceptance doesn't come easy, I have seen that letting the past be, is the best we can do in the present to make the best for our future.

Easiest way to live is the natural way, doing whatever comes to us naturally without having to struggle to do it.

But if you ever have to do something against it, then make it your decision and do it smiling...

Here I remember a quote by A.R Rahman in his Oscar acceptance speech... "In my life many times I had to make a choice between love and hate. I chose love and I am here"

And finally

forgive others easily and more easily forgive yourself.... for a happier life...

Why I prefer to be an atheist?

What does following a religion give us?

Following a religion gives us hope, faith and confidence about problems which we cannot solve ourselves...and a sense of humility which is very necessary in this random world.

It also is used to give some sort of stability, checks and balances in the society so that it will not degrade..

But with extreme religion people get carried away to think that things can happen without their working, and making each and every thing in scriptures as absolute law even if it is not at all logical are the ill effects of religion. I know that there are some things which might seem illogical at this level of consciousness, but may make sense if we know more things.. Especially in the hindu culture, most of the rituals have some inner meaning which we may not decipher for some things but they do have some significance...

If we can understand that it not all necessary to follow everything which is said and follow only those that make sense to us and remember the first line..(courage, faith, hope and humility) we can have them ourselves without attributing them to a superpower.. and in that way we can even avoid the ill effects of religion.

So why atheism?

If you think closely, you can understand that what the world runs on is the survival of the fittest. You can see lot of people committing lot of sins to earn money and power. People often tell that 'God sees the truth but waits.' But nothing happens. You know lot of people who have committed sins and still go scot free in the world. And people who haven't committed any sins but are powerless suffering. I am not advocating that we do illegal and immoral things and get away with it, I say exactly otherwise. It is up to you to determine what is really illegal and what is really immoral and not depend on a religion on a text to tell you what is it. This way you will be more in control of outcomes in your life and there will be no false hope for miracles.

I know I am treading a dangerous path here, because life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. And by saying I don't believe in miracles, I am setting myself in a path where I will never see miracles. Okay so how many of you readers have seen something extraordinary, something unnatural or something miraculous, not which was told to you.. something which you have personally experienced? I haven't experienced any such thing from my childhood till now. So I have decided that there is nothing like that until proved otherwise. If it has to come with belief, then I choose not to believe because things that I have to do something to be happy in afterlife doesn't make sense to me. The fact that we have to repent for our sins committed in previous life doesn't make sense to me. The fact that I am reborn also doesn't make sense to me.. what the heck.. if I am meant to improve and reach God, why should I forget what I learnt in the last life... why cant I remember it so that I can make better progress?

I feel it is up to us to live and let live. I don't need to do that with a fear of some power overlooking me.

Let us not talk about the caste system. If such a system is proclaimed by God who chooses to distinguish between people based on birth, I don't believe him. Ok let us leave hinduism... If there is a religion which proclaims there God is true blue God and others are not, then how can you accept such God? All these things make me feel these things were only created for manipulation and power-grabbing. Hence I reject them.

Other Religions and Philosophies :

I have written previously on aim of life here,

If the sole aim of a human is to reach God or salvation or mukti whatever we call it and there is nothing else for humans to do here except worshipping God, then why should he create people at all? If God is the one who created us and wants us to reach him, then why should he create us at all? Here people talk about karma siddhanta that we are born because of the papa/punya phalas of our previous birth. Then I ask how did it accumulate its papa and punya, Initally it should have been a blank slate right? Why is he created then? Is it just that Gods wanted to see a game? Doesnt it look strange to be born freely, do what ever we want but being awarded points for being good or bad respectively, and again being born, not freely but with the points we accumulated in the previous game, and this happens cyclically till our good overwhelms the bad and we reach God. Doesnt it seem like a game and we are just coins in His hands? This is the limiting point of the theory. People argue this way too - why do you argue about where you came from, as you know the end point try to reach the end point of salvation. But when I am not convinced of the starting point, how can I be convinced of the end point?

Thus I rejected this philosophy.. 

Christian philosophy is a lot better in that sense... It doesn't bind you saying, you have to bide your time for previous sins. It just says - 'acknowledge your sins, and leave them to God and you are free.' If you are a believer, this is a lot better because you are free. What I argue is what you are technically doing is letting go of your sins, that you can do without imagining that you are giving it to a God. And it has its own misgivings.. 

If you think about what you get from religion, you will easily understand that all the good in religion can be incorporated in our life without the need for a super human being and if we reject the religion, all the unnecessary parts can also be left out.

Finally, now I don't believe in a super human being and automatically which disqualifies me from all the famous religions. Now my view of the world is something very rational (Darwinian view) to a different kind (subjective view) as explained by Buddha. Darwinian theory is a proved and very rational theory and it is true by default and I need not prove this. But I also want to explore the subjective view more to see if it is true or not.

What is my world-view?

Now, as you know our life is mostly meaningless. Don't misunderstand me.What I am trying to tell is it doesn't matter in the long run. And we always try to assign meaning to whatever we are doing as if it really matters. Yes, that is the only way we can live life, otherwise there is nothing to look forward to. But the fact that life is essentially meaningless, and it is in fact ourselves that assign meaning to it should never be forgotten. Anyway you all know that you cannot take the wealth you create or any of your possessions when you die. So what is the best way to live.. I feel that to recognize the fact that we should understand the futility of trying to living up certain standards but do what makes us happy but in the end, it doesn't matter what you did. I don't feel right cheating others to get what I want, so my philosophy is to live and let live. I don't need a religion to tell me that.

This topic has received a lot of interest in this blog. All the posts in this series

1. Aim of Life

2. Karma Yoga & Advaita vedanta

3. Waking up to a Dream - Subjective Reality

I know this is a topic which can be quite divisive, for it is concerned with beliefs and it takes a lot of questioning to reject a strongly held belief. So what do you think about this?

Whats a good life?

Is it a life spent in service of others?

Is it a life spent in achieving something against all odds?

Is it a life spent dutifully taking care of your family?

Is it a life spent sacrificing for the greater good?

Is it a life spent spent orderly?

Ohhh..no its not...

Isnt there something missing?

Good life is a life spent being happy,

Lucky is he who can do the above things

without losing his happiness....

Skid Row - I remember you lyrics

Just read the lyrics of this song and loved it.. So touching.. Hope you like them too.. :)



Woke up to the sound of pouring rain
The wind would whisper and Id think of you
And all the tears you cried, that called my name
And when you needed me I came through

I paint a picture of the days gone by
When love went blind and you would make me see
Id stare a lifetime into your eyes
So that I knew you were there for me
Time after time you were there for me

Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - I remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
Id wanna hear you say - I remember you

We spend the summer with the top rolled down
Wished ever after would be like this
You said I love you babe, without a sound
I said Id give my life for just one kiss
Id live for your smile and die for your kiss

Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - I remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
Id wanna hear you say - I remember you

Weve had our share of hard times
But thats the price we paid
And through it all we kept the promise that we made
I swear youll never be lonely

Woke up to the sound of pouring rain
Washed away a dream of you
But nothing else could ever take you away
cause youll always be my dream come true
Oh my darling, I love you

Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - I remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
Id wanna hear you say - I remember you

Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - I remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
Id wanna hear you say - I remember you

Some Random Reflections about 'Counting Your Blessings'

Image via Wikipedia

Just read a post 'Counting My Blessings' at Vyshu's blog. Ofcourse it made me about things I like and feel blessed about. But it made me think of something else too...

In your life you have had some people who like you but somehow you have not had that much liking for them as much as they have... and there are some people whom you like very much but it feels as if there is not much reciprocation... And sometimes it feels as if I have to somehow like those people who like me but how much ever I try I find that an unsatisfying pursuit. They just don't seem to sustain my interest. I am thinking hard if it is because of a prejudice on my part? Or is it because of my inability to see them right? Do you feel blessed for such love existing in your life?

After much thought on this, I came to the conclusion that it might be possible that we might look interesting to some people whom we may not find interesting enough and we might find some other people interesting to us to whom we might not seem much interesting. It is quite natural for thing like this to happen and am just thinking of the possibility where each person find the other interesting. That might just spark a super spiral of emotional growth , happiness, bliss and purpose.

Is it a romantic thought or not I don't know. Is it the right thing or not I will not know but my heart revels in the fact that something like this is possible...There is a longing which never disappears... Have you ever felt like this ever?

Love Aaj Kal - A love story of our times

I have just watched Love Aaj Kal and just cant wait till tomorrow morning to tell you how great a movie it is. Generally I prefer telling the plot of the stories but I dont want to do it for this. Just watch it on the screen. It is the story of our times where there is a confusion between career and love, the seperations, the break-ups, long distance relationships, the being far yet being very near. The story of self-discovery of what is more important in life, the fun and despair of modern times, the innocence and love, the missing and the pain everything packed in a two hour movie. I just loved it. Go Watch It.

Still not convinced.. then this is for you..

What is important? Do you want to continue a relationship even if you dont feel fulfilled? Do you just allow any relationship to fade only to come back after you understand what you missed? What if it is unrecoverable? What if it is not possible? What price are you paying to succeed in your career? What is really important. All these questions are explored in the movie and director succeeds in showing how the feeling of being in love doesnt change through the ages... Imtiaz Ali, the director to watch for..

Tuesdays With Morrie Book Review

I read a book called 'Tuesday's with Morrie' a non-fiction book written by Mitch Albom. The book chronicles his meetings with Morrie Schwartz, his favorite professor in Brandeis University, who is battling ALS(amyotrophic lateral scelerosis) and has his days numbered. But rather than wobbling in self-pity and die decides to live each of his day fully.

Morrie is Mitch's favorite prof when in college, and promises to keep in touch with him after leaving college. But he gets caught up in the rat race becoming a sports writer and publisher and never gets a chance to meet Morrie again. He accidentally meets him on a wheelchair while going somewhere and has to visit him but not before completing his work. And he is hooked after the first meeting. He is reminded of the days when he used to study under him, discuss things about life with him. Due to the union strike in his company, Mitch gets a chance to visit his professor every tuesday which is the name of the book.

Mitch who considers Morrie as a coach decides to ask Morrie about the questions vexing him. I felt these questions universal and surely every reader would identify with it. To quote Mitch

On the plane ride home that day, I made a small list on a yellow legal pad, issues and questions that we all grapple with, from happiness to aging to having children to death. Of course, there are a million self-help books.

But there seemed to be no clear answers. Do you take care of others or take care of your "inner child"? Return to the traditional values or reject tradition as useless? Seek succees or seek simplicity? Just say no or Just Do It?

This forms the core of the book as Mitch discusses these things with Morrie every tuesday that he visits him as Morrie tells his thoughts about the world, culture, love, money, marriage and death too. In the context of dealing with emotions, he says that we should let the emotion take over us, experience it completely and after having the knowledge of the emotion, to detach from it. And he makes a profound statement with regard to the impact that culture should have on us.

He says

" I don’t mean you disregard every little rule of your community. I don’t go around naked, for example. I don’t run red lights. The little things, I can obey. But the big things - How we think, what we value - These you must choose yourself. You can’t let anyone- or any society - determine those for you"

The book is very touching and just put the fact that the things which make us happy are the simple joys of sharing and caring.

A must read to see life from the perspective of a dying Morrie who considers himself lucky to have the time to say good bye to his loved ones. And he says 'Everyone is not so lucky'.

Wish we make the best of the short time we have.

Changing inner self Vs changing the outer world.

Image by jmtimages via Flickr

As you can see from the posts I have been writing lately,

I have been mostly in a contemplative mood. This is next in that series

When something you want to do is not being done in the way you want, there are two options infront of you.

1. Fight and change it to be done in the way you want.

2. Adjust yourself to like the way it is done.

So which is the better way?

Generally if doing either ways doesnt effect you much you might prefer going in the second way... But what if you the cost of adjustment is too much?

I have a more adapting mentality but I am realizing more and more daily that we shouldnt adjust more than required and its better to fight and fail than accepting the outcome.

My friend Ketan, wrote a comment to my previous posts sometime back about the serenity prayer

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Looks easy but very difficult to implement. Dave Pollard, an Idealist has written the following lines here,

I've been talking a lot about my three latest self-improvement projects: To connect better with my own (largely suppressed) emotions, to become more empathetic, and to learn to live in Now Time instead of Anxious Time. I certainly believe that practice and exercise have value, but I'm increasingly convinced that any changes they provoke are likely to be modest, and perpetually difficult to sustain.

It seems there is a healthy level till which we can accomodate change but after that we should fight for bringing about the change we believe in.

The Invitation - A Poem

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

- Oriah

The lines that have particularly touched me are -

I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.

People can you do this?