Friday, July 30, 2010

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

I am reading the book 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' by John Gray. It contains many insights about the differences between the ways of communication between men and women. It will give you many ahaa... moments.
Some of the gems...
Men like to solve their own problems and they like taking advice when asked.
Women like to share their problems, even when they are not expecting them to be solved and they don't require solutions. They just want their men to listen to them.
Women should not give advice to their husbands unless asked.
Men feel fulfilled in a relationship when they feel needed but turned off by neediness
Women feel fulfilled if they are cherished.
Women grow resentful when they feel that they have given more and are getting less in return.
They should learn to set boundaries, so that they dont resent it.

ʺNeedingʺ is openly reaching out and asking for support from a man in a trusting manner, one
that assumes that he will do his best. This empowers him. ʺNeediness,ʺ however, is desperately
needing support because you donʹt trust you will get it. It pushes men away and makes them
feel rejected and unappreciated.

Men are afraid of giving because they are afraid of not giving enough. So they don't make an effor to give.
What women says should not be taken literally for e.g - If she says "You never listen to me" - what she says is he is not listening to her right now. Women like to take poetic license in expressing their feelings but men just give information like.

eg. W: ʺWe never go out.ʺ M: ʺThatʹs not true. We went out last week.ʺ

When a venusian is upset, she uses generalities
Male intimacy cycle: When men become too close, they withdraw. It is normal for men. When they come too close, they feel like loosing themself. So they got their caves and rejenuvate themselves.
Women should understand this and not punish them for pulling away

I haven't completed the book but  I will write the summary of remaining points in my book reviews blog.

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1 comment:

  1. Hello! This post couldn't be written any better! Reading through this post reminds me of my old room mate! He always kept talking about this. I will forward this post to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read. Many thanks for sharing!

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